Seven Girls in Seven Nights (plus extras)
This is supposed to be a little black book of my various escapades with members of the opposite sex but I just realised its been quite a while since I managed to get any action, much less had the chance to publish it. Am I getting old? Am I slipping? There was only one thing for it, set myself an amorous task that would restore my self confidence and help cement my reputation as Puddleby’s premier ladies’ man. But what to do?

I was discussing this self imposed quest to some friends in town when the solution struck me like a ‘lock bolt…


That’s right. I was going to make my way through each race in a very short time frame, the contracted space would also offer me the chance to compare and contrast the different girls and see if the fit into the traditional stereotypes. Here’s how it played out:

Halflings are either bossy and officious….
… or sweet but ditzy.
Either way, halfling girls are just adorable. They were also the easiest to cross off my list. I had got through two before I remembered I was due for someone from another race. I get distracted easily

People girls are mad as cut snakes but are a sucker for a line.
Thoom girls are unjustifiably ignored. I have no idea why. Hredda can handle my potatoes any time.
Sylvan girls are the polar opposite to thooms.
Dwarves are fairly conservative on the outside, but WILD when they let their inhibitions go.
Everyone so far had pretty much lived up to their cliché so I could perhaps be forgiven that thinking the first human I decided to make some moves on would be the same.

I get the wrong end of the stick.
The next human girl I spoke to displayed the usual brusqueness I have come to expect from humans in their interpersonal relations though. What a honey!
Six down and the hardest to go. Zos. (or Zoa as some people say). I’ve previously bemoaned about how prim and proper they are. When it comes to sleeping around, zos have always been the biggest challenge. I was running out of time though and I hadn’t come so far only to fail now, so I girded my well worked loins and set out.

One of the problems is that many zo, Vagile for example, follow “Red Sonja” rules. It’s apparently a zo mating ritual. The girls will only give themselves to someone who can best them in combat. Unfortunately for me, word of my weak combat skills is already pretty well known. I regularly lose duels to people with half the ranks that I have. Probably because I went and got a ledger in Sexius, but I digress. It took me ages to find a girl even willing to give me a chance. Eventually I found one in the east forest who, while respectable, at least seemed enthusiastic.

Unbeknownst to me, she was just enthusiastic about seeing me lose the challenge.
Perhaps it was the woozy head that I had from the punishment received in my attempts at headbutting/courtship with this last girl, but I had the bright idea that although I specified seven races. I didn’t say which ones.


Fortunately, common sense prevailed.
Time was fast running out. I had scoured the lands looking for a zo willing to have a fling with me but to no avail. All the zoa I had spoken to were diligent about their approach to life, never stopping to slack off. If only I could find some zo outcast, given a job with barely any responsibility which allowed them time for a quick lie down. Then I realised that the answer to the final part of the challenge had been staring me in the face the whole time.

Success!
Seven out of Seven! With a couple of spares too. I hadn’t lost my touch in the slightest. I now throw down the gauntlet to anyone else in Puddleby to duplicate or better this feat. Surely there’s a girl out there who’d like to try there hand at all the guys. Someone might want to add unrevealed girls into the mixture and try to go one better than me. But unrevealed “girls” always make me think that there might be more than just their race they’re not revealing. Sarir don’t really do it for me. If I wanted a mindless automaton I’d make a play for a library Horus healer.

Measle signing out for now. Good luck to any that try to copy or improve my challenge.